10 Year Old Fashionista Egypt (Ify) Ufele Overcomes being Bullied and Share Her Views on Friendship

A 10 year old designer at the prestigious New York Fashion week?  Yes, it is true.  By now just about everyone has heard of Egypt (Ify) Ufele and her fashion line ChubiiLine. If you haven’t, you’re in in the right place.  We were impressed by her confidence and her determination and just had to talk to Egypt. At 10 years old she is the youngest person ever to debut a line at New York Fashion Week. Her grandmother taught her to sew when she was only 5 and she practiced by making clothes for her Barbie dolls. She started by using her dolls in fashion shows and later moved on to actual models. What is so fascinating about Ufele, however, is her motivation behind starting her own apparel line, called ChubiiLine.  Like so many kids Egypt was being bullied in school because of her weight.  She needed an outlet to relieve the stress and turned to sewing and fashion design. Having a friend or friends is really important if you’re being bullied so we wanted Egypt’s take on friendship.

AboutYourFriends:  What is your definition of friendship or what makes someone a friend?

 Egypt: My definition of a friendship is someone that is loyal & always a good listener.

AboutYourFriends:  Are friends important and why?

Egypt: Friends are important because they are great supporters when family fails you.

 How has your friend shown that he or she is a “true friend”?

My true friends are still my friends because they have continued to see me as neighborhood Egypt not the Child Prodigy.

  Why is your friendship special?

My friendship is special because sometimes you just want to vent and share your dreams with and I have that.

AboutYourFriends:  Can a best friend help with bullies?  If so how?

A best friend can help with a bully by standing together and let the bully know we are united front.

ChubbiiLine is an African-inspired collection of tribal prints and shapes that accommodate women and girls of all sizes.  Her line has garnered the attention from anti-bullying groups and fashion lovers everywhere. Egypt’s story reminds us that no matter how young or old we are we need friends.  True friends are a necessity in life no matter if you are young or old, rich or poor.
Egypt (Ify) Ufele with Models
Egypt (Ify) Ufele with Models
For more information about ChubiiLine, visit www.shopchubiiline.com or follow Egypt on Facebook at www.facebook.com/Ifychickufele For more information on how to stop bullying visit http://www.stopbullying.gov/get-help-now/ and https://nobullying.com/helping-a-bullying-victim/

Friendships Don’t Always Last Forever and that’s OK!

Sometimes we outgrow friendships and that’s ok.   Not all friendships last forever.  Don’t feel guilty if you no longer have anything in common with a friend.  If you feel that way he/she may feel the same way too.  Life sometimes takes you in different directions where you meet new people learn new things and your goals and values change.  While all these new experiences are happening to you, your friend is also having their own experiences.  This can lead to a disconnect and the feeling that you no longer have anything in common,  the friendship becomes strained and the friendship ends.   It’s ok to mourn the loss but also remember that growth is a part of life.  Wish your former friend well and move forward.  

Do you think your friendships will be forever? Let us know what you think!

Which is More Important Honesty or Respect?

Gina:  Which is more important honesty or respect?

Tee:  They are both important and both are necessary in any relationship.  I would say honesty is more important. Why you say? Well you can respect someone and still lie to them but if you are honest then the truth will be revealed which includes whether or not the person respects you.  Remember how someone treats you tells you how they feel about you. It goes back to the old saying, “Action speaks louder than words.”  People can tell you “I love you” all the time but do they treat you like they love you? Words are just that, words; but actions?  Now that tells you the truth. That said, one should not use “being honest” as an excuse to deliberately hurt someone. 

Are you a convenience?

Don’t be a convenience to anyone!  You and your time are valuable all the time not just when someone needs you to fulfil their needs. You teach people how to treat you.  If they can call you anytime and you are always available or you are willing to cancel plans just to do what they want they are really not your friend. A true friendship requires both parties needs to  be met.  That means listening to each other and supporting each other.  A friendship requires give and take on both sides. [playbuzz-item url=”//www.playbuzz.com/michalshafrir11/how-perceptive-are-you”]  

My Father, My Friend!

As I celebrate another father’s day I of course think of my father who passed away almost three years ago. I miss my dad singing happy birthday to me, his voice, his fatherly advice and seeing him on stage. Music was in his blood and the only thing he loved more than music was the most high and his family. I lost my father to Bladder Cancer.  A type of cancer I’ve never heard of until he was diagnosed.   Shortly after he was diagnosed I started seeing commercials about medicines that can cause bladder cancer.  Say what??? What is bladder cancer?  Bladder cancer is cancer that begins in the bladder. The bladder is a hollow organ in the pelvis that stores urine before it leaves the body.   The bladder wall is made of several layers.   Most bladder cancers begin in a layer called the urothelium, which lines the inside of the ureter, bladder, urethra and parts of the kidneys.  Cancer may also develop in other types of cells in the bladder.  Approximately 69,000 new cases of bladder cancer were diagnosed in the United States in 2011, and approximately 14,990 deaths were due to bladder cancer, according to the American Cancer Society.  About half of all bladder cancers are diagnosed when they are still confined to the inner layers of the bladder.  A diagnosis is almost always made before the cancer has spread to distant sites. As usual my dad was very protective of me and did not let me know when he started getting sick.  It was only when he realized something was really wrong he decided to tell me.  No matter how old I was my dad wanted to protect me. My dad was simply the best. He was my father and my friend.  I was in the same country with my dad for only thirteen years before moving away but in those thirteen years he built a relationship with me that time and distance could never change.  I was a true daddy’s girl in every sense of the word.  Growing up if you saw him I was right there with him walking arm in arm. “Jah Rastafari! Ever living, ever faithful, ever sure!” Hang around Rastafarians and you will sooner or later hear these words. My father was a member of the Twelve Tribes of Israel and some of my fondest memories are attending meetings and stage shows with him.  Many times he was one of the performers. One of my favorite songs of his is Children of Zion. I still remember him playing his guitar and singing. It was great seeing my dad on stage.  Many people do not think of Rastas as spiritual but a true Rastafarian is a spiritual person much like a Christian, a Buddhist or any other religion.  They read the Bible.  As the saying goes, “A chapter a day keeps the devil away,” and my father did read his bible every day.   He read the bible from beginning to end several times in his lifetime.  The minister that presided over his funeral said my dad knew the bible better than him!  How ironic is that? What made my father unique is that he did not force is beliefs on anyone not even his own children.  He taught us his beliefs yes and we had to follow his rules but we didn’t have dreadlocks as many children do.  He said, he will teach us about the bible and his beliefs but ultimately it is up to us if we want to become a part of the Twelve Tribes of Israel.  We have the right to choose what we want to do.  That being said, my dad is more than willing to talk to anyone about the Twelve Tribes and the bible.  He was always up for a rousing conversation on the topic or any topic.  Another unique thing about my dad is that I could talk to him about anything (I can do that with mom too of course) and I do mean anything.  He didn’t shy away from any topic.  My father wanted to do everything he could for us and give us all that he didn’t have growing up and that meant being there for  everything that we do and answering any and every question we may have.  You could have fun with my dad.  He wasn’t a stern man by nature but you know exactly what to do and what not to do.  He mastered the art of the “look”.  You know the one that when your parent looks at you better stop whatever you are doing immediately or else!  To know Vincent Byfield was to love and respect him. My father commanded respect with his behavior and treatment of others.  He was a loving and caring man and he was taken way too soon. Gone but not forgotten! Say it with me, “Jah, Rastafari!” LaToya Byfield

Should I Reveal her Secrets?

Tee, I recently ended a longtime friendship with a friend and I am still so angry with her that I feel like I should just tell her secrets.  Do you think that is a good idea or should I still keep her secrets? Camille G.  

Hi Camille, I’m sorry that your friendship has ended.  It is always sad when a relationship ends. Most people think ending a romantic relationship is harder than losing a friend but it is just as hard and sometimes harder. Your friend (true friend) is the person who knows the real you.  They know all your secrets, dreams, desires, heartbreaks and a host of other things that you may not want anyone else to know.  Now, that said would you want her to tell your secrets?  Think about that before you do anything.  You didn’t say why your friendship ended but I’m guessing that’s why you want revenge but is it worth it?  Remember the best revenge is living well and letting karma do its job.  Don’t waste the energy or time on getting back at her. Out of respect for those years when you were friends keep those secrets to yourself.  Besides if you do tell she will know you are the one to reveal her secrets.  Do you want that possible altercation or argument?  As the legendary Bob Marley said, “Only your friends know your secrets, so only he could reveal it.”

Frienemies: A Like Story

Frienemies: A Like Story

By Stephen Holmes

 The world lexicon is in perpetual flux. Imagine Snookie drunkenly berating one of her equals or lessers (wrap your mind around that for a moment) while using the Queen’s English. “Thou best not be speaking to me, skank!” Even better, imagine an MLB player being ejected from a game for suggesting the umpire, “Fornicate with your own being and the noble steed on which you were transported!” Good, bad or indifferent, language evolves. As I SMH over all of the endless LOLs, I think of other modern phrases, some I still have to get my nephew to translate… TTYL?… WTF!!!! I understand the term “frienemies” and what it implies, but I just don’t understand the concept.  In a guy’s world (especially guys over 40) there are no frienemies. We don’t even have enemies, we have friends, friends we don’t speak to right now and former friends. Any of the aforementioned categories are just five Jack Daniels away from transitioning to the other. An evening can begin with a few drinks between friends and end up with both bloodied and missing teeth and only transition to “not speaking right now” status. “Former friend” status would have to be invoked with inappropriate advances to ones mother (Jack D. can’t even transition this… a Super Bowl ticket is the only fix for this one). There is only one situation where a man can have a frienemy – peace keeping.  When a man loves a woman he will put up with her friend’s asshole significant other. Whether it’s enduring a dinner as a couple or inviting the offender out with your boys, if a dude wants to get any sleep (or anything else), he will shut down all opinions and suck it up. Oh, it won’t be an easy evening for the asshole, but at least the attempt was made. Male frienemies are rare because, well… we’re not that deep.  Our friendships are very meaningful, but we don’t feel the need to excavate deep beneath the surface.  We believe that problematic situations can be handled by fighting, drinking or avoidance. Is there a problem?  Let’s not talk about it! Women want to analyze the subtext of relationships and give them, sometimes undeserved, nuances.  The over-thinking of friendships causes anxieties which creates new dictionary entries. It’s ironic that Gertrude Stein wrote what should very well be the male motto, “A rose, is a rose, is a rose,”  This was her way of saying, “ it is, what it is,” and how male a concept is that?

Get rid of toxic people and Move On!

It is OK to move on in life. Not everybody in your life is meant to be with you through all of life stages. There are those people who are there to teach you one thing or another and when their time is up acknowledge it and move on. It may hurt to let go but it’s ok. Mourn the loss but move on. Life is for the living. You do not have to keep toxic people reincarnation in your life be it family or friends. You know what is best for you. Remember you only have one life to live even if you believe in reincarnation why not enjoy your current life?

God’s Whispers of Love for Me

Phlox subulata 'Amazing Grace'
Phlox subulata ‘Amazing Grace’ (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
By Icy B. George
It’s amazing!  I remember growing up always hearing the saying “if you want to know who your friends are, let something tragic happen to you” and wondering to myself, I have good friends that could never happen to me.  Boy was I ever wrong.  I have always taken pride of considering myself to be a good supportive friend, the one to sit at your side for a Dr. Appointment, cook your favorite meal when you’re sick, or even help you make funeral arrangements when you lose your loved one.  Call me, and I would be by your side.  I just thought that this is what good friends do automatically, boy was I wrong. Two years ago, I was in an accident that caused me to have to take some time off from work for about a year, requiring two surgeries.  I had never considered myself a needy person, but who I thought would call and even stop by to see how I was doing, never came.  This was a real wake up call for me, where I had to turn to the one true source that strengthen me, when all else failed me.  I turned to God!  I would pray and ask God to soften my heart to not hold anger or malice in my heart, for I was convinced that not everyone can love how I love, because they were never taught.  I learned to lower my expectations of people so I wouldn’t be disappointed.  Boy was I wrong! On my road to recovery, I had become very involved with the social media community, where I started writing inspirational blogs that caught the attention of a circle of beautiful people that would change my life, and became a great circle of support to me.  There was Grace, she was from the Bronx, attended the same high school, but we had never met, and that we had found so much in common.  Grace had found out that she had an aneurysm on her brain, and let me know how my affirmations saved her life.  Little did Grace know, calling me daily just to pray with me, saved my life.  Then there was Lydia, she was a Jewish lady from New Jersey, who loved to read my affirmations that I wrote daily.  Lydia would email me with the most beautiful prayers, and some exercise for me to try to strengthen my arm in between P.T. sessions.  And last but not least is Keiki from the Philippines, but lived in NYC on a student visa. Keiki would call me every day to see how I was feeling and keep my spirits up, emailed beautiful poetry, and the funniest jokes.  I love them each in ways no one else would understand.  You see God has a way of sending Angels to whisper words of love and wisdom, just at the point that you need it most.  Where I thought my “friends” would be there, they weren’t, and that is ok.  But what I have come to realize my friends where there all along. Three beautiful strangers that have become my closest dearest friends, and have given my life so much perspective.  I wouldn’t trade them for anything in the world.

What is a friend?

LaToya Byfield
Is a friend someone you love or  like?
Would you let them ride your bike?
Would you let him or her in your home?
Would you let them use your comb?
Would you help him up when he stumbles along the way?
Or would you look away?
Would you share your eats?
Or selfishly hide your treats?
Do you have belly laughs and cheer each other up when you’re blue?
When you argue are you completely through?
Do you smile when she’s around?
Or does she make you frown?
Does your heart feel light when he’s in your sight?
Does her presence make everything bright?
Did I make you think about people you know?
Do you now know who is your foe?
Some people think frenemies are cute it’s more like pulling a tooth!   
Who wants an enemy that is a friend? On that I will not bend!
An enemy is an enemy not a friend.
A true friend is with you through thick and thin and often makes you look within.
Jealousy does not compute. A true friend will always tell you the truth!
Love, Laughter and trust, all of these are a must!
Without them your friendships are a bust!
To make those friendships true all of this I hope you knew.  
I hope you learned something today.
A true friend will never go away!

Be Kind!

Random Acts of Kindness Ribbon
Random Acts of Kindness Ribbon (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Contrary to popular opinion kindness has not gone out of style.  It can be as simple as holding the elevator door when you see someone rushing to catch it.  If you can do that for a stranger think how much being kind to your friend will mean to him or her.  People will always remember how you made them feel so be kind.

Roommate Drama!

This is my first year in college and my roommate has her boyfriend sleeping over but she never asked me if this is ok.  So far we have been getting along but I am not comfortable with this guy in the room with me.  Should I tell her? – Suzanne J.
 Tee:  Of course you should say something.  Her behavior shows a lack of respect for you.  Also, you don’t know this guy.  Your safety is important too.  Sit her down and tell her how you feel.   It is not ok for a strange man to be in the room with you especially without your approval.  I understand you want to have a good relationship with your roommate but you have to feel comfortable and safe in your room and the only way to do this is to be honest with her.

Friend of the Year!

I’m so glad to have found this site. So often we have great friends but we do not get to show our appreciation of their friendship. I want to say thank you to my best friend Lisa for being the very best friend anyone could ask for. Lisa is the kind of friend everyone should have. She was there for me when my mom had a rare form of cancer and died. She listened to me when I had to vent and listened when I had no words. We laughed and cry together. When I feel depressed I can call her and tell her about it. We share our successes and failures with each other and we never judge each other. We are each other’s counselors.:)  She helps to keep me sane. We are like two peas in a pod. If you had a best friend award I would nominate her for one. Lisa Johnson, I love you like a sister. You are the very best friend anyone could ever ask for. Thank you for being my friend. — Jennifer S. Toronto

I AM as smart as you – Maybe even smarter!

I thought Wayne was my best friend until I had a change in my financial status. I left my job to start my own business but it is a struggle. I just had it with corporate America and wanted to do my own thing. I felt like I wasn’t getting anywhere. After 2 years it was still slow going especially because the economy tanked and people didn’t have as much money to spend. I noticed Wayne started acting funny and making sly comments about people leaving their job without having another (he is a corporate brownnoser and love the games of corporate America which is fine for him but it’s not my thing). He even went so far as to speculate with our mutual friends about how I’m living and not in a good way. Then he would call me less and less and only calls when he has a new gadget or job to brag about. Another year went by and I realized it was really bugging him trying to figure out how I was surviving because I never complained about money or borrowed money from him. He started asking mutual friends if they lent me money. I’ve known him for 19 years and never even borrowed a quarter. I am the type of person that if I can’t afford something, I’ll do without. I don’t have a problem asking for help when I need it but I don’t like borrowing money or asking for unnecessary favors. He finally couldn’t take it anymore and one day asked me how I’m doing it. “So how long did you save up to do this business, James?” “Did you save for 5 years? “ “Did you save in percentages or what?” He asked some other questions I don’t even want to mention but when he finally popped and asked me these things it made me wonder if he forgot we both went to and graduated from the same University. Normally these questions would be ok but his behavior made me realize somehow he didn’t think I was as smart or capable as him. You see he wants to start his own business but have not yet done so. I feel like dude we both have our degrees and even if I didn’t, it doesn’t mean that I am not capable of doing more than working in an office. I haven’t totally written him off but I don’t share like I used to. Funny how money or the lack of it, change the way people treat you. I just had to get this off my chest. Thank you About Your Friends! — James G. – NYC


Can you tell who your True friends are?  Need help to figure it out?  Or do you have a great friendship story you would like to share?  We are all friends here and we love friendship stories, good, bad and everything in between. AboutYourFriends.com is the place to share your stories, get advice on how to be a good friend and to learn boundaries. We also offer great gifts at an affordable price.